asalting golden strawmen

"why hello there american citizen who is a friend of mine"
"why hello there back, fellow friend who is an american citizen. what are you up to?"
"i am returning from purchasing a large amount of gold"
"gold? why did you do that?"
"i have no faith in the value of this american currency, so i converted it into gold"
"why is gold better?"
"well, gold has an inherent value, whereas money does not. it's inherent scarcity guarantees it's value will stay high"
"where does that inherent value come from?"
"well, historically it's always been expensive. and you can make stuff from it. like jewelry and some electronics. and again, it's really rare, so it's expensive"
"but what if someone finds a way to create gold?"
"that's just silly. gold is an atom, and you can't create atoms willy nilly"
"so how did it get here?"
"well, fusion in stars and big bangs. stuff way way out of human league. sides, people have been trying to create gold since the dawn of time and none ever succeeded. only way to get it is through expensive mining processes, and those will only get more expensive as it becomes more and more rare"
"huh"
"yessir, if you ever want a good safe bet for your future, go into the gold standard. it's the rational thing to do"
"well, maybe later, i gotta go invade some country real quick"

+++MEANWHILE IN ANCIENT ROME+++

"why hello there roman citien who is a friend of mine"
"why hello there back, fellow friend who is a roman citizen. what are you up to?"
"i am returning from purchasing a large amount of salt"
"salt? why did you do that?"
"i have no faith in the value of this roman currency, so i converted it into salt"
"why is salt better?"
"well, salt has an inherent value, whereas money does not. it's inherent scarcity guarantees it's value will stay high"
"where does that inherent value come from?"
"well, historically it's always been expensive. and you can put it on meat so it doesn't spoil as fast. and again, it's rare so that makes it expensive"
"but what if someone finds a way to create salt?"
"that's just silly. salt is a simple molecule and i don't even know what a molecule is but i do know you can't create molecules willy nilly"
"so how did it get here?"
"well, created by gods. stuff way way out of human league. sides, people have been trying to create salt since the dawn of time and none ever succeeded. only way to get it is through expensive mining processes, and those will only get more expensive as it becomes more and more rare"
"huh"
"yessir, if you ever want a good safe bet for your future, go into the salt standard. it's the rational thing to do"
"well, maybe later, i gotta go invade some country real quick"